There is a huge difference between simply thinking something and truly believing it to be a reality. You can think of the world exploding tomorrow but you don’t feel or act differently. Why? Because you don’t really believe it to be true.
We act on our beliefs, not just simple thinking. When you find yourself limited or your life is not what you want it to be, in all likelihood, the problem lies in your belief system.
If you find yourself thinking, “But I just couldn’t achieve…” or “I’m just not that type of person,” then you will never reach what you do not believe you can become. If you ever think, “I’m not…” then you are right. Not because it is not possible but because you have that self-limiting belief.
To simply attempt to use will power to make yourself change is not sufficient. Eventually your will power will fail you. What is essential is that you change your self-limiting beliefs and that you raise your own personal standards.
A self-limiting belief often starts with the words, “I can’t…” or “I’m not…” Raising your personal standards is reaching for that brass ring. Imagine your life the way you would ideally like it to be. Imagine how you would be in this ideal life. How would you look? What would you be doing? Include your emotions, your attitudes, disposition, style, mannerisms — everything that makes up this new image. Make it specific and detailed. Then make it a primary focus in your life to achieve; make every adjustment to your behavior, physicality, and think congruently and harmoniously with that image.
Imagination can be used both positively and negatively. If you are flying to Hawaii and you don’t sleep well the night before because you fear the plane crashing into the ocean, this is called worry. It’s the negative use of the imagination.
If you don’t sleep well because you can’t wait to get going to Hawaii, then this is called excitement. Basically the same thing is occurring, but one is a healthy anticipation, and the other is distressing. Your imagination is like a thermostat. If you perform above your imagined expectation, the air conditioner kicks in and your performance drops. It’s common for golfers who perform uncommonly well on the front nine, to do poorly on the back nine. If you perform below your expected norm, then the heater turns on and you find yourself doing better on the back nine to match your anticipated score. So turn up your thermostat and raise your expectations.
You have tremendous control over your thoughts and your imagination. With a lot of practice, you can become proficient in using your imagination positively and constructively. Increase the clarity of your mental image, think and focus on what you want for yourself emotionally, mentally and experientially. Few things in life are as powerful as your imagination in changing your belief system. Use it wisely.
The sister of imagination is expectancy. What do you expect from life? What do you expect from yourself? What do you expect of yourself?
You can’t? You’re right. Not because you can’t but because you believe you can’t. Develop a different expectation of yourself and you will begin to rise to that level. Because you move in the direction of your strongest mental focus, do you focus on the fear of failure or the rewards of success? See yourself the way you would ideally like to be.
Believe you can be the person you want to be, then make every nuance of behavior congruent with this image, belief and expectation, and watch yourself achieve to that level.
I am Daniel Rutley, and you can find me at 905-502-7779 in Mississauga and I will get back to you the same day that you call and I will try my best to fit my schedule to suit your needs.
I offer counseling services for both individuals and couples. I specialize in helping people in the areas of relationships, depression, anxiety, anger as well as addiction and behavior control.
My therapeutic style is to use an easy to understand and easy to apply (cognitive-behavioral) approach to achieve positive, long lasting change quickly. I use a warm, direct approach that concentrates on the present. I do not tell you what to do but I give you a systematic, step-by-step “recipe” to solve your most common emotional, behavioral and relationship problems.
You have nothing stopping you from making that change. Make the call and make the change now. Let’s begin today. Together.